Traditionally, illicit relation with a married woman has been
considered immoral. But there are lot of examples that show such
relations have existed throughout history. Some experts believe that
this evil has come from Arabs. Usually, uncontrolled sexual urge in
married woman is the main driving force for such illicit relations.
There are however instances when considerate people deserted such
women who had even occupied their beds. In Mahabharat, during his
stay in heaven, Arjun rejected the sex-driven plea of Urvashi
because he knew that she was the mother of Chandravansha. As such,
Urvashi was like a great-great grandmother of Arjun. So, he turned
down her pleas for the sake of chastity. Thus, Kamasutra forbids
such illicit relations with women who are akin to mother, sister or
daughter even by distant relation. Otherwise, Kamasutra has no
objection over having a physical relation with a married woman
provided that it is the woman who takes the initiative.
CONDUCT IN
EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS:
All the men and women in a society appear more or less similar. One
cannot figure out those men or women who might have extra-marital
affairs or are prone to have such affairs. An acute observation of
the behaviour, such people can easily be recognized. Experts opine
that from figure and bodily postures, promiscuous women can easily
be recognized. Old ladies look for these symptoms to ascertain the
character of their would-be daughter-in-law. First of all, feet of
the woman are observed. If the finger adjoining the thumb is longer
than the thumb, if the middle finger is longer than the first finger
and the little finger does not touch the ground while walking, such
a woman might have a loose character.
Maharshi Vatsyayan says that almost every woman aspires a beautiful
male and feels drawn to him at first sight. The nature of males is
more or less similar. They too aspire pretty women and like to have
their company. Most of the women however manage to contain their
desires but a few, of loose character, see no evil in having a
casual but intimate relation with handsome males. Another category
of women show no interest at first. But with continuous and
persisting efforts and pursuing, they too submit their selves to the
handsome males. It is an inherent nature of males that they long for
the things, which are difficult to get. They like the wife of others
more than their own.
But whether one has an access to other married women or not, one
should avoid having illicit extra-marital relations. He should be
long-sighted enough to foresee the consequences of such an
extra-marital relation. More than often, a married woman is deserted
by her husband because she has some serious illness or is insane.
Such a woman would inevitably seek the company of other males. But
the consequences of such relations are always disastrous.
WOMEN
OBTAINED WITHOUT EFFORTS:
There is a whole range of women who submit before the sexual
advances of men without slightest resistance. One doesn't have to
work hard to get such women to his bed. This category of women
includes those who always stand on the entrance of their home, those
who always stand on the roof and look down into the lane, those who
enjoy long talks with their young neighbours, those who look
intently into the eyes of the men and look sideways when caught,
those who hate their husband or hated by their husband, independent
spinsters, those who stay with their parents, those who lost their
children immediately after birth and those who talk a lot. Apart
from these women, women of the gypsies, widows, poor women fond of
pomp and show, women who have many brothers-in-law are some other
types who are prone to develop extra-marital affairs easily. Those
women whose husbands are impotent, afflicted with serious disease,
cowards, hunchback, dwarf, ugly, and old also submit easily to the
sexual advances of other men.
PROTECTION OF
WIFE:
In the society, there is a complete horde of men who keep on lurking
around married women. Some men have addiction like weakness for
married women. It is therefore, the duty of every sensible man to
guard his wife against these prowling ‘nymphomaniacs'.
Ways to protect the wife: Appoint such member of the family
who is fully trustworthy and whose sexual urges have been
successfully tested to keep a watch on the wife. Test the character
of wife through some trustworthy old lady who has no self-interest.
Reasons for wife running amok: Getting permission from the
husband for independent behaviour, living in pressure, talking
freely with other men are some reasons that provoke a woman to seek
company of other men, despite living with husband. Alternatively, if
the husband has migrated out, a woman feels unsatisfied regarding
her physical requirements. In such situations, a lonely woman is
more prone to fall in the company of characterless women who open
many channels for her. Consumption of inebriating drinks and
eatables, company of bad men, wandering aimlessly, sleeping at wrong
hours and living in someone else's home are some other reasons that
encourage a married woman to develop extra-marital affairs.
Elaborating the causes and outcome of extra-marital affairs, Acharya
Vatsyayan says that with thorough knowledge of Kamasutra, a man can
protect his wife from the leers of other men. Extra-marital affairs
always lead to destruction of religion and wealth. Therefore, one
should never apply any of the methods described so far to win a
married woman in his life. But he should know the subtleties related
to these affairs and accordingly protect his wife.
